CareLeader

Strategic, Real-World Pastoral Care

  • Home
  • About
    • What is CareLeader.org?
    • Meet the Team
    • Statement of Faith
  • Products
  • FAQ
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Search
You are here: Home / All Posts / Hijacking member complaints for the glory of God

Hijacking member complaints for the glory of God

April 21, 2016 by Sam Hodges

iStock_000033321368_small

Lunch was great. But you know what’s next. And it’s not the bill.

“Pastor, I’d like to talk to you about something …”

From there you hear yet another complaint about the church—what you’re not doing, what you could be doing, who’s being neglected, who feels rejected. On and on it goes.

Instead of listening, you start nodding—not in agreement with him, but affirming your intuition that he’s a grumbler, ungrateful, uncommitted, and that he has the worst of all spiritual conditions: an agenda.

The temptation is to ignore complaints, but when you do, you might miss an opportunity to help hurting people. The fact is, many people are complaining because they’re hurting. For some reason they feel rejected, overlooked, or abandoned.

Acts 6 gives us a great model for responding to complaints that can be a repeatable strategy for addressing underlying hurts in your congregation.

They complained in the early church too

Dateline Jerusalem—The early days of the church. You know the story. A group of Greek widows were being neglected in the daily distribution of food. As Luke writes, “The Hellenistic Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews” (Acts 6:1).

A few verses later we have, some say, the commissioning of the first deacons in the history of the church. That’s often the primary takeaway of the text. But this is one case where familiarity with the passage may cause us to glance over a key detail. So what are we missing?

We already have a ministry for that

Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that Acts 6 tells us there was already a ministry in place to distribute food to those in need? It was a fine system. Many were helped by it. A lot of people loved it, and—it was broken. The Greek widows were not being helped by this impressive system.

The same thing happens in our churches. We have ministries in place—deacons’ ministries, small-group ministries, children’s ministries—and they’re designed to address needs that arise. But just like in Jerusalem, there are still people in our churches and communities who are being neglected, and they have valid complaints. That’s why you desperately need an Acts 6 ministry mind-set.

What is an Acts 6 ministry mind-set?

If you have an Acts 6 ministry mind-set, you’ll see the complaints of hurting people as opportunities—opportunities to enhance or create systems to care for hurting people and potentially expand the influence of the church. Based on Acts 6:1–7, here are six principles that pastors with an Acts 6 mind-set embrace:

1. Some complaints are opportunities in disguise:

Want more care-ministry articles like this one delivered to your inbox? Subscribe to the CareLeader Weekly Newsletter today.

Throughout the book of Acts, Luke records what the church does and then shows the effects of those actions. The events of Acts 6:1–7 are one example of these cause-and-effect relationships. As verse 7 reads, after the disciples addressed the needs of the Greek widows, “the word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly, and a large number of priests became obedient to the faith.”

Addressing the needs of the Greek widows caused the church to grow. Even if one person comes to you with a complaint, he likely represents hundreds or even thousands of people in your community who have the same problem. What system could you put in place to help them?

2. Good leaders change their approach to help hurting people:

The apostles didn’t respond to the widows saying, “We’ve got a system for that—just get in line on time.” Instead, they took the complaint seriously and put a system in place to deal with the concern. They were open to new approaches to ministry. Are you?

3. I can help a lot of people without neglecting my responsibilities as a pastor:

Sometimes we cringe at the idea of putting new programs in place, because the work involved can distract us from prayer and the ministry of the Word (Acts 6:4). However, the apostles came up with a system that enabled the church to care for the widows and enabled them to maintain their focus. You can, too. You just have to come up with (or find) the right system. CareLeader.org can help you with that.

4. Good systems require good people:

How hard can it be to pass out food? Obviously, someone wasn’t getting the job done. The disciples had to bring in men full of faith and of the Holy Spirit. Bottom line, don’t recruit just anyone into the ministry of caring for hurting people. Set high standards for your volunteers.

5. Sometimes people are best served by those they identify with:

Some Bible scholars believe that the men the apostles chose to help the Greek widows were also Greek. Makes sense. These men would certainly be great advocates for these women, and they’d understand them better than most of the Hebrews would. The takeaway? When you’re trying to decide whom to enlist to help hurting people, look for others who’ve been through a similar journey or deeply understand the plight of those they care for.

6. I have to prepare my people to serve:

The apostles were able to put men in place to help the widows because they had men who were prepared/qualified to serve. Whom are you training to respond to the next complaint that arises in your church? CareLeader.org can help keep you abreast of trends that will affect your community. We’ll also regularly share training tips with you so that you can prepare your leaders to be ready to respond to future complaints.

The next time you hear those familiar complaints, consider the ministry opportunity before you. Think about the many other people in your church and community who share the same hurts and will benefit from your church’s care.

By developing this mind-set, you can position your church to respond well and possibly grow as you help increasing numbers of people. So the next time lunch turns into a lamentation, listen to the complaint with an Acts 6 mind-set.

Sign up for your FREE newsletter!

CareLeader.org helps you provide biblical and compassionate pastoral care.
Sam Hodges
Sam Hodges
Managing Editor

Sam leads the CareLeader team. As a seminary-trained, ordained pastor, Sam knows firsthand a pastor’s desire to provide effective care to hurting people in the church and community. He directs and oversees CareLeader’s content, making sure the articles and videos equip pastors with information and ideas that are strategic, do-able, and consistent with Christ-centered, biblical care principles.

Sam also leads Church Initiative’s editorial team and has written and produced a number of Church Initiative’s video-based small group curriculums. They include GriefShare second and third editions (2006, 2014), DivorceCare third edition (2012), and Single & Parenting (2011). Sam is also coauthor of Grieving with Hope: Finding Comfort as You Journey Through Loss.

Sam graduated from Howard University with a bachelor of arts in communications. After that he received a master of divinity degree from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary with an emphasis in Christian education. Sam has also served on staff as a discipleship pastor at Infinity Church in Laurel, MD.

Filed Under: All Posts, Emotions, Pastor's issues Tagged With: care ministry opportunities, complaints, conflict, early church example, hurts, listening

Latest Articles

How to restore broken marriages after an affair, part 1

By Dr. Les Carter

3 ways pastors can help women and families experiencing postpartum depression

By Robin Barnes

Pastoral care and refuge for rape victims

By Tory Flynn & Dr. Diane Langberg

How your pastoral limitations can bless your churches

By Dr. Zack Eswine

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

GriefShare equips lay people to care for grieving people

GriefShare is a powerful, Christ-centered grief recovery program. Created by the team that produces CareLeader.org, GriefShare features many of the experts who contribute to the CareLeader website. It also features the stories of over 75 everyday people who’ve applied biblical principles to heal from grief. Visit GriefShare.org/start and see more reasons why thousands of churches use GriefShare. And discover how GriefShare can equip your church to launch and sustain a proven care and outreach ministry.

Categories

  • About (1)
  • Addiction (2)
  • All Posts (255)
  • Boomers and senior adults (8)
  • Care Issues (23)
  • Emotional & mental health (25)
    • Discouragement & regret (5)
    • Suicide & self-harm (2)
    • Worry & anxiety (4)
  • Equipping leaders (19)
    • Care & counsel (14)
    • Ministry startup (1)
  • In This Together (3)
  • Marriage & other relationships (19)
    • Communication (3)
    • Conflict (2)
    • Infidelity, unfaithful spouse (4)
    • Premarital counseling (2)
  • Misc (7)
    • Job & finances (2)
  • Parenting (23)
    • Single parents (5)
  • Pastor's issues (83)
    • Care ministry administration (8)
    • Counseling & teaching (42)
    • Emotions (11)
    • Encouraging others (5)
    • Work/life balance (5)
  • Sexual issues (7)
    • Abuse (4)
    • Same-sex attraction (1)
  • Suffering & Grief (20)
    • Racism (3)
  • Theology of pastoral care (4)
  • Top posts (4)

How would you help them?

A woman wrestling with depression. A grieving teen. An anxious wife. A man battling chronic anger. Would you know how to minister to them?

Discover how CareLeader.org can help you provide biblical and compassionate pastoral care for struggling and hurting people in your church.

Welcome to CareLeader.org

We equip and inspire pastors and senior church leaders to provide strategic, real-world pastoral care, by delivering practical, biblically based encouragement and insights that have application for preaching, counseling, visitation, lay leader training, and outreach planning.

Sitemap

  • Home
  • About
    • What is CareLeader.org?
    • Meet the Team
    • Statement of Faith
  • Products
  • FAQ
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Search

Categories

  • About
  • Addiction
  • All Posts
  • Boomers and senior adults
  • Care Issues
  • Emotional & mental health
    • Discouragement & regret
    • Suicide & self-harm
    • Worry & anxiety
  • Equipping leaders
    • Care & counsel
    • Ministry startup
  • In This Together
  • Marriage & other relationships
    • Communication
    • Conflict
    • Infidelity, unfaithful spouse
    • Premarital counseling
  • Misc
    • Job & finances
  • Parenting
    • Single parents
  • Pastor's issues
    • Care ministry administration
    • Counseling & teaching
    • Emotions
    • Encouraging others
    • Work/life balance
  • Sexual issues
    • Abuse
    • Same-sex attraction
  • Suffering & Grief
    • Racism
  • Theology of pastoral care
  • Top posts

© 2023 CareLeader · Rainmaker Platform